5 Months

5 months have passed since I blogged properly. In that time I started up a tumblr blog to keep track of the images of cute puppies and kittens that I find myself obsessing over. I have also visited Great Barrier Island, made a short trip to Melbourne and turned 24. There is something I haven’t done, however, and that is paint. I haven’t made any art in the last 3 or 4 months. I haven’t picked up a brush, I haven’t even been into my studio in the last 3 months. I’ve lost my inspiration, lost my ideas, lost the motivation and desire to paint I used to feel so strongly.

I know this post is a little bit personal, but given the fact I don’t think I have all that many followers, its a good way to vent a little bit about the fear I am now feeling regarding my lack of artistic endeavours.  It scares me.  I want to paint.  I even sort of know what kind of things I want to be painting, I just don’t know how to go about translating them into paintings.  I think I’m just facing some fear of failure and it doesn’t help that I haven’t seen much success so far.  I know no one is to blame for this but myself, and I know the longer I stay out of the studio and inactive in being creative, the worse it will get.

If anyone is reading this, what do you do when you’ve lost motivation and inspiration?  How do you get back into being creative without feeling like you’re forcing it?

And because I hate a text only post, here is a sample of the types of pictures I’ve been posting on my tumblr (puppytime.tumblr.com)

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3 Comments

Filed under Life, My art, Random

3 responses to “5 Months

  1. Jessie

    i know for myself that when i have been lacking motivation and inspiration (and energy) it has been because of what was going on in my head and in my life. when i am healing and fixing things there, the art starts to come back “by itself”. so i guess rather than focusing on struggling to drive somewhere i have been focusing on fixing my engine first.

    going to camp overseas really rekindled my passion for art – hearing comments everyday people made about modern art, and talking about it – defending it i guess – made me realise i still cared about art … i found a spark again. lots of things could do that; i’m not prescribing a camp particularly. im not sure exactly what it was that worked about it, whether it was the distance from my normal routine or just defending art that made me realise shit i really do care about this.

    i still can’t really go full steam ahead though, because of my anxiety problems – yes, fear of failure too, definately! (that and i’m not sure i want to engage in the art world proper! it can be rather tiresome haha). my anxiety is from some actual disorder/illness I have, though … what i’m going to be doing to try and fix that involves seeing doctors. So, not sure i can really help with advice there. nothing i’ve tried to do on my own to gain confidence has worked :P i need outside help.

    good luck. your work is super cool, i really hope you can get firing again. the only suggestions i can think of involve looking at cool pictures on the internet and trying some of their stuff (hey, might be fun even if it doesn’t work). Also what Julian Dashper did with me in second year when i was stuck was give me a bunch of canvases and runny paint and was all “go for it!” and made me just paint shit fast right away without worrying what it looked like too much. it was fun and it kind of unblocked me.

    best

    • rainbowstripe

      Thanks Jessie.

      I think you’re right about it stemming from other things in my life being a little “off”. My depression has been creeping back into my life and I don’t like it. I like to think of myself as being happy but I can’t deny there is something a little dark holding me back from that a bit. I guess I need to work that out, or at least work through it. I know I need to change something in my life to get the art side sorted, but right now I’m not sure what I can change.

  2. Hey there! I found your blog via the Lady Bloggers listing :)

    How is life goin’ for you at the moment? Did you suss out some positive changes? It’s hard to pull yourself out of that sinking feeling sometimes; gets easier over time, though. Just keep following your heart, and have faith that all that unhelpful crap inside your head is just there to challenge you. You’re not your thoughts; you’re the awareness behind them.

    Hope things are rad xx

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